The above is an actual quote by Winston Churchill, edited a bit and with capitalization added for purposes other than the Bulldog intended, but I think it applies pretty accurately to the current state of the Cleveland Browns when viewed in this context. At this point, a day after the Browns hired their seventh head coach in 15 seasons, I'm past denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, finding myself firmly rooted in acceptance. It's just sad, and I feel sorry for the team, its fans, and anyone associated with this sorry organization. Everyone does, even the new coach's daughter (and probably Mike Pettine himself as well):
Everyone knows the Brownies have been dreadful ever since returning to league in 1999. But I don't think most people outside of their fanbase, or at least the division, really realize just how bad and how prolonged the misery has been for the team. It's quite ridiculous at this point. So, just to emphasize where I'm coming from with this post, I'm going to briefly outline the history of the New Browns.
Since the franchise was revived 15 years ago, the Browns have:
-finished last in their division 11 times
-had 5 or fewer wins 11 times (including each of the last six seasons)
-started 20 different quarterbacks (yes, more QBs than seasons), including a QB named Spergon Wynn
-had an offense ranked 24th or worse in the NFL 13 times
-had a defense ranked in the bottom half of the league 9 times
-made the playoffs once (blowing a 24-7 third quarter lead to lose to a Tommy Maddox-led Pittsburgh Steelers in the Wild Card game)
-sold out each and every one of their 120 home games
Seeing it all stacked up in one place like that helps to get the point across, but nothing compares to watching them play 16 times every year. Wikipedia tells me that the Bills have a longer playoff drought and a longer sub-.500 streak than the Brownies, but I find it hard to believe that there has ever been a football team with this kind of sustained futility. I have a long-term $10 bet riding on the Browns franchise folding or relocating before winning a Super Bowl, and I feel pretty confident in that expectation. The Browns are horrible, and, having just hired the man behind the Bills' 20th-ranked defense, appear to have no hope.
But the problem is, I go through each of those stages of grief each and every season with the Browns. All but the most weathered and beaten Browns fans do. Their sold-out games streak is proof of this. There are always signs that the coming year could finally be the year that turns the whole organization around. Hell, I'd be fine with just improving enough so that the Brownies are a watchable team that doesn't torture its fans each and every week. But there are always reasons to start believing that next year will be better.
This year is no different. We have a brand new coach (and there's no way he'll be as bad as the last coach...right?), six Pro Bowlers returning in positions that actually matter, a new quarterback (hopefully) whose career we might not ruin this time, and a division that was worse last year than it's been since 2003 (and yes, I fact-checked this). So, there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.
Except, again, this year is no different.
The Browns will either start off well, then get bad, or they'll start off bad, then get good for a few games. Their fans will continue to believe that the team will be better this year, but the Browns will inevitably do everything in their power to piss us off early on in the season. We'll begin begging, PLEADING for the team to at least approach mediocrity, but even that will be far out of reach. Browns fans everywhere will watch, helplessly, as the team sinks further and further toward their unavoidable fate, while their fans will sink further and further toward depression. By year's end, we will have accepted our plight as Browns fans and will look toward the future with apathy and indifference.
But the cycle will undoubtedly continue. This offseason, we'll all convince ourselves that there's no way we'll be as bad as we were last year, and we'll all be eagerly watching with a renewed sense of pathetic excitement come September 7th.
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